The 5 W’s of Mentoring: Who, What, Where, When, Why – and How?

What is a mentor? A mentor is someone who has been where you are right now, knows the ropes and is willing to teach you how to effectively swing – and not land on your head like they may have. They usually ‘have your back,’ they are someone you can trust. A mentor while you are a student in school might share how they successfully navigated campus, hiring attendants or landing an internship, while a mentor in the working world can help you fine tune your job skills, provide feedback, give you insights into a particular field, and may open doors for you with their own contacts. They help support your career progress.

A mentor can be someone at work who is usually at a higher level than you. Or a mentor can be a contact that you made through networking, an alumni or a member of a professional association you join, a friend of the family, a current or past professor or advisor. A mentor can be your next door neighbor in the Co-op, the girl who is about to graduate and has a job lined up, her act together.

A mentor can be anyone that fits the shoes.

Everyone can use a mentor.

While everyone can use a mentor, the more puzzles that a person has to solve means the more they can use a little back-watching and lessons in rope-swinging. If you have a disability, you are dealing with the standard life journey (going to school, finding a job, navigating office politics and so forth), but your road is less paved. You’ve also got to figure out how to deal with accommodation in the workplace, how to tell your boss you have a disability or how to convince someone that you are the best person for a given job, even if you can’t talk. Or walk. Or hear. Or whatever.

As a person with a disability, you are a minority living in an able-bodied majority world. When you google image “mentoring,” you get lots of pictures of smiling white people that are, for the most part, blonde and in suits. What if you don’t fit in a suit? You are not white? Not blonde? Yes, it is all the more reason for you to connect with your own mentor. Someone who can help you navigate that road that may be less-paved, non-blonde.

“Sounds great!” you say. “So where is this mentor person? I’d like to meet her.”

If you are out of school, you can find your mentor in a variety of ways:

• Network (which is just another way of saying get out there and talk to people). Tap into online networking sites (like facebook, twitter, linked in). Be very careful about what you post, who you friend (more is really not merrier). Cultivate your online relationships, ask questions, and you will see relationships form.
• Join Professional Associations. Many professional associations have regularly scheduled meetings with guest speakers, networking events, and social gatherings that are ideal for getting acquainted with others in your profession. Those acquaintances can lead to mentoring relationships.
• If you are in a job, explore what your organization offers. Call the Human Resource Department, dig around your companies’ website. Just because your boss didn’t tell you it exists does not mean it doesn’t. You need to do your homework!
• Informational Interview.  Resist the urge to think that you are imposing on someone by calling them up and asking them for an informational interview. Most people really do like talking about themselves and what they do. You can ask questions during an informational interview related to your career path, your resume and so forth. This is another opportunity for you to develop a relationship with someone that is in the field, someone that you respect and admire and might become your mentor.
• Conferences.  They can cost money but you can often get in for free if you volunteer. They are a great place to meet potential mentors!
• Volunteer.  Volunteer for an organization, cause or project that you are passionate or would like to learn more about. Connect with others, ask questions. The organization is likely to have people that could become your mentor.
• Google!  Do some research just by typing in search terms like, ‘mentor disability’ or ‘mentor bay area.’  See what pops up and follow the leads.

If you are still in school, it’s often a little easier to find a mentor, so it’d be great to take advantage of that by:

• Developing and strengthening your relationships with professors and advisors (office hour visiting! Ask questions! Volunteer! And most of all, do great work).
• Asking around for specific mentoring programs on campus (most all schools have some type of formal mentoring program). Search your school’s website if no one seems to know.
• Join student groups, campus chapters of professional associations – they are hotbeds for potential mentors.
• Tap into some of the tips for those that are out of school as well – they still apply to you – informational interview, google (do your research), volunteer and attend conferences.
• Connect with your campus alumni association, career center and disabled students’ center to learn about mentoring events or functions that you can take part in.

A thread that seems to be running through this article is the need to be proactive, do your homework and network. And it’s true: you do. Not much in our life is just handed to us on a plate; we all usually need to work for it. Engaging in each of these steps for a mentor strengthens a plethora of skills that will ultimately lead to success – and lots of friends made along the way!

And the beauty of this all is that the more you do it, the more comfortable it becomes, the easier it gets. If you are nervous about talking to people you don’t know, don’t. Just talk to a person you don’t know, one at a time, until it becomes easier. If you are shy, focus more on volunteering or helping other people and as you are become less shy, work your way up to an informational interview, or approaching people in a conference and so forth.

Good luck!